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Note the warning in red letters at the top, “Make sure you keep this record card in your purse or wallet.” I’ll bet they’re going to repeat that message a lot in the coming weeks. Step 2: Tell everybody, “Why not just keep it on your phone?” so you don’t leave it at home. Step 3: Tell everybody, “Since your phone can get stolen, let’s just put your vaccine record in this handy-dandy subdermal tattoo.”

This nightmare would be a little more “fun” if its architects weren’t so predictable.